I rarely mention specific details about my life. I usually write about me in general. But I'm such in high spirits today that I'm willing to push my boundaries.
Going to medical school has been my dream for the past couple of years. If I'm not mistaken, this interest blossomed when I had my baby. Being an OC and all, I had this weird urge of ALWAYS wanting to know how to take care of my baby especially when he's sick. It's like I couldn't stand the feeling of helplessness of not being able to cater to my son's demands at the time he needs it most. I become so agitated if I'm not able to pacify him just because of a "simple cold". I stress out when his fever is intermittent and he's not even showing any signs of lethargy or weight loss. I fret when he'd cry endlessly throughout the night and not understand what he really wants. I had a LOT of questions. What should I do? How can I make him better? How can I prevent this from happening? Is he even sick? Then a light bulb appeared over my head -- I wanted to become a doctor. I visualized my son being perfectly healthy (now that's every mother's dream).
I kept that longing to myself though. I'd spill it out every once in a while, just in passing so I guess maybe that's the reason why people didn't really take it seriously. Then I was told to take up Nursing. No biggie. It was LIKE being a doctor. The four years went by and I thought my desire to become a doctor already died or something. It was four fun years by the way. Graduation came and people went about their lives. Others took up master's degrees. Others pursued their nursing careers. Others went overseas. Others had regular jobs. Others bummed around. Then I found out that some of my friends from college went to medical school. Man, was I jealous. Then it hit me. I UNQUESTIONABLY still wanted to be a doctor. The desire was definitely there but the opportunity, timing and the resources weren't. It was hard seeing people I know pursue it. It was hardest knowing that others don't even want to be there! I wanted to scream at their faces, "Can I just take your place then, you crazy freak?!" Why do others have all the luck? I had to choose getting a job over my dream. I had to be practical. I slowly began to accept that it really wasn't for me and I had to let go. Then a couple of days ago, hope came. My folks seriously considered my intention to take up Medicine. It's not yet a done deal but they were really S E R I O U S L Y considering it! Still, the resources is a major factor. Advanced planning would be necessary for this plan to push through -- careful computation of all expenses and ensuring that we won't go over the budget. Nevertheless, I certainly would like to hold on to that tiny bit of chance that I could somehow get a shot at this. For all we know, there might just be a sudden twist of fate.
Going to medical school has been my dream for the past couple of years. If I'm not mistaken, this interest blossomed when I had my baby. Being an OC and all, I had this weird urge of ALWAYS wanting to know how to take care of my baby especially when he's sick. It's like I couldn't stand the feeling of helplessness of not being able to cater to my son's demands at the time he needs it most. I become so agitated if I'm not able to pacify him just because of a "simple cold". I stress out when his fever is intermittent and he's not even showing any signs of lethargy or weight loss. I fret when he'd cry endlessly throughout the night and not understand what he really wants. I had a LOT of questions. What should I do? How can I make him better? How can I prevent this from happening? Is he even sick? Then a light bulb appeared over my head -- I wanted to become a doctor. I visualized my son being perfectly healthy (now that's every mother's dream).
I kept that longing to myself though. I'd spill it out every once in a while, just in passing so I guess maybe that's the reason why people didn't really take it seriously. Then I was told to take up Nursing. No biggie. It was LIKE being a doctor. The four years went by and I thought my desire to become a doctor already died or something. It was four fun years by the way. Graduation came and people went about their lives. Others took up master's degrees. Others pursued their nursing careers. Others went overseas. Others had regular jobs. Others bummed around. Then I found out that some of my friends from college went to medical school. Man, was I jealous. Then it hit me. I UNQUESTIONABLY still wanted to be a doctor. The desire was definitely there but the opportunity, timing and the resources weren't. It was hard seeing people I know pursue it. It was hardest knowing that others don't even want to be there! I wanted to scream at their faces, "Can I just take your place then, you crazy freak?!" Why do others have all the luck? I had to choose getting a job over my dream. I had to be practical. I slowly began to accept that it really wasn't for me and I had to let go. Then a couple of days ago, hope came. My folks seriously considered my intention to take up Medicine. It's not yet a done deal but they were really S E R I O U S L Y considering it! Still, the resources is a major factor. Advanced planning would be necessary for this plan to push through -- careful computation of all expenses and ensuring that we won't go over the budget. Nevertheless, I certainly would like to hold on to that tiny bit of chance that I could somehow get a shot at this. For all we know, there might just be a sudden twist of fate.
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